You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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