I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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