garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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