Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
