i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
