I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
