Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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