Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
