you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
