In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
