a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I love having hate sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I need water and some morals
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
