i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
