Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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