If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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