I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
