garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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