becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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