I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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