I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
