Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
