If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
