i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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