his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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