I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
