just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
