I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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