I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I could make wine with my vomit
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize