Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
