I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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