you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
