Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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