I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
