Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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