I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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