I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
