I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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