I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
