We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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