Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
