ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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