OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
