The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
