so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
