i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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