i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
