Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
