Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Rumble strips road head = magical
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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