next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
