Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
