we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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