I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
