I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
