theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
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