OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
