I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
