Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there is puke in my bra ... again
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
