Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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