how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
