duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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