you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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