I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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