i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
