I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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