Her vagina should come with caution tape.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
