Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
